“Time up, come on switch off your tablet”
“I said now!!”
So much for kind and firm.
I said to myself: I am tired, frustrated, angry, fed up, completely done for the day – as a way to justify my tone of voice.
I frowned some more. I refuse to put guilt on myself for my reaction and yet, I acknowledged that no matter what, it was uncalled for and I am the adult who need to keep my shit together.
So with a sigh and some extra love to myself, I let myself calm down, went to my child, apologised and said: “I know you were enjoying playing your game and your screen time is used up. Shall I play a bit with you instead?”
A few years ago, I would have held on tight to my anger as a way to not feel guilt.
And when I remember that, I know that despite what feels like very slow progress, progress is happening and my children are witnessing an imperfect parent doing her best and changing – maybe slowly- but changing.