There are days where I am done with parenting.
I do not want to be the adult any more that cares for these children.
So on Saturday I walked out of the house….because I didn’t want to parent….
I was angry and fed up and I left husband and children at home with no idea what I had in mind. All I knew was that I wanted space. I started walking angrily at first, but than meditatively. Thinking what was all this about?
I spent an hour alone before going back home and hubby took up this into his own hands and gave me the morning off while he headed off with the kiddos to the beach.
That morning gave me so much insight on what I need to work on next in my life!
There will be other days for sure where I am done and want this to be over.
Sometimes, I get exhausted holding the space for 3 children.
Sometimes, I actually want to focus on my other work…..my paid work….sometimes I forget that my children are my teachers to my paid work and really wish them far away. Other times, I feel their worth as more than gold and keep them tight drinking in all the knowledge that I am getting from them, knowing that with that knowledge I will help one of you parents.
Sometimes parenting feels easy- yes you do get those odd days, where everything flows perfectly and effortlessly and you have this I got it feeling, I am on top of things. It is a nice feeling isn’t it?
Most times, parenting feels more like struggling with mud..trying to move and getting more stuck in the situation.
It is OK. You are not alone. We all get that.