Attachment is what makes parenting possible.
Without attachment parenting is practically impossible.
Yet, it is difficult sometimes to keep our attachment strong. There are days were we are not as emotionally available!
Research has shown that for every negativity we produce, we need 5 positive ones to cancel them! That can seem like a lot of work especially when there are so many other things to do. So instead, try maintain your attachment by a few easy habits that are easy to incorporate in your daily lives.
- Give 5 mins attention to your child(ren) upon waking through hugs and snuggles
- Sit with them during breakfast, give them a run through of the day and ask what they are looking most forward to.
- Write a note and put it in their lunchbox to find at school
- When your child expresses unhappiness over something acknowledge their feelings a simple I hear you goes a long way!
- Before they leave for school hug them and tell them to have a good day or have fun
- 5-10 minutes before your children get home from school take a few breaths and centre yourself. Make sure you are ready to greet them!
- Once you are all together again, make eye contact, smile and hug your children, ask them about their day and have a moment to slow down after a hectic morning.
- When your child talks, stop and listen. Give feedback so they know you are listening
- 15 mins of special time each day go a long way in feeling loved. Just listen to their stories, play a game or have a short walk
- Lie with them in bed for a few minutes -even when they are older.
It might seem like a tall order, but this doesn’t add much to your day and cultivating these habits will simply help smoothen your days with less fighting and more cooperation. What’s more it strengthens the attachment keeping your relationship intact throughout their childhood and beyond.