I am not going to talk on how breastfeeding is natural and its myriad of benefits. I am also not going to say breast is best. You probably already know this after all! Then again, I think breast is normal not best. All the studies done I must remind you, were done with formula as the base. So, of course, breast milk looks superior. Yet the base, should be breastmilk. Also a reminder that nothing ever man made can compare really- still we should all be grateful that a man made alternative exists either way.

So its good that we are learning more about breastmilk and by default breastfeeding but to say it is the best is being misguided. Because most of us struggle to simply be ‘normal’, so the best seems pretty much unattainable and many give up the thought without even trying. Breastfeeding is normal and natural but not always easy. There are many things that have a decisive factor on this.

– how we view breastfeeding

– how our birth was

– what support system we have

– how we wish our lives to be

These are external factors. Than there are other things, like the baby’s mouth anatomy and mothers’ breast anatomy. However, let us focus on the external factors.

Many, whether consciously or not feel pressured to breastfeed. Like this is the make or break deal to being a good mother. It’s not!! Forget all pressures and think do I really want this? You’d be surprised how many mothers end up with unexplainable pain when breastfeeding because the truth is, they do not want to breastfeed and yet, they feel pressured, so the body produces an excuse for them to stop without feeling overly guilty. So be truthful to yourself and let go of the rest.

Next we have birth. How we birth our babies, makes a difference to the breastfeeding journey. A natural, easy birth (as in no complications), will help mama to settle into breastfeeding quicker. Complications, last minute c-sections and traumas due to the above, tend to hinder breastfeeding. Be kind, gentle and patient with yourself. These things take time to heal, add to that a newborn and a new set of skills you are trying to learn and it will quicky become overwhelming.

This therefore leads us to the support system. Having people that support your decision to breastfeed, whether they understand it or not and who does not suggest formula at every corner (or any corner unless you are risking your mental/physical health). Who will instead ask: how can I help you? Is what can make or break the breastfeeding journey of a mother –especially when there had been issues at birth.

Lastly, what do we want in our lives? This is not really talked about. Yet I am not afraid to broach this subject. A mother, a woman who loves going out and about, who enjoys her work and is ambitious, who loves being chaotic, will find breastfeeding harder because it will feel like a shackle. Keeping you back, always attached, it feels too much. And I am telling you if breastfeeding is making you unhappy than you should stop.

In my 10 years plus of being a breastfeeding counsellor and a mother of three, what I learnt most is that If you want to be a good mother, you have to do what feels right for you no matter how unconventional and different than society’s norm it is.

Breastfeeding can be a wonderful experience that gives so much to both the mother and baby – beyond health benefits. Yet, if things are not in sync with the external factors, everything else will feel even more difficult. Yet, if you are truly happy with your choice, despite the mastitis, blocked ducts, nipple pain and latching difficulties among other issues that a breastfeeding mama may encounter, you will most likely be able to overcome them all and still enjoy the journey.

Breastfeeding week, should be a reminder to all women, that yes we wish you to breastfeed because it is important for the baby- there is no denying this. However, it needs to be on your terms. Do not compare yourself to other mothers, do not feel smug because you breastfed… you do not know the story of the other mothers. Just help pull each other up. Support each other in whatever choice she made. Breastfeeding matters but mother’s health matters as much.