We have explored self-care as basic physical needs and started dealing with self-care on a mental level. We looked at me time and time with friends. Today, the last post on self-care, we will look at self-development and time with your spouse/partner.

When we talk of self-development, we are not looking at keeping up to date on work related issues (though that is important). Yet, the self-development I have in mind is the searching of our inner soul. This inner work is another important part of self-care because it helps us understand ourselves and push against former fears and blocks we had which in turn helps us to be better humans and parents.

So what is exactly inner work?

Inner work is described as the psychological and spiritual practice of diving deep into your inner self for the purposes of self-exploration, self-understanding, healing, and transformation. And that is a tough path to take, but one I believe of great importance. Beginning with a mindfulness practice would be a great starting point!

The last part of self-care when married or in a relationship is to have time with that partner. When we become parents, our relationship with the other half can stop without our noticing. That can lead to separation from them despite still living with us; because we forget and take for granted our spouse, we start mostly seeing those things that don’t make them shine which brings into a vicious circle that doesn’t bade well in any relationship.

Making time alone with your partner is also self-care because you are caring for your needs with the person you trust to spend the rest of your life with. Yet, if we don’t take the time, we will forget what we loved in that person. We will forget why we chose them to be our spouses. Time with our partner doesn’t need to be a date night at the restaurant. It can be as simple as going out for a walk and chat. Taking time off work when the children are at school to do a hike together or a picnic. Dates, do not need to be expensive but they do need to be fun!

Lastly, when we do self-care, we are teaching our children the importance of taking care of our needs and not just those of others. We teach them how to balance the need of the immediate and extended family, work etc with our own needs without any guilt feelings attached.